Bitter/sweet or sweet/bitter by Simon Guillebaud

Bitter/sweet or sweet/bitter news of death in Burundi Sarah is dead. It seems so wrong. Many prayed and fasted – some believed and even claimed – but all hoped that God would heal her, yet finally she lost in her protracted struggle against breast cancer. The night before she graduated to glory, frail Sarah had called her six children around her, and with poignant strength of voice told them she was leaving soon. She then gave each advice about the future once she had gone. And now Peter has had to break the news to the kids, although the youngest is only a toddler (born 2 weeks before the mastectomy) and cannot possibly comprehend what has happened. On learning of his mother’s death, 4-year-old Dedi blurted out: “O Papa, if Mama is with Jesus, will you take me there too?”

It seems so deeply wrong in this case because of Peter’s story. The sting of premature death (she was thirty one) is always doubly painful, but God’s intervention in healing Peter seemed to suggest He would surely do the same for Sarah. Peter is one of the most Godly men I know. His testimony is a powerful one. He was a wild womanizer and musician who worked for Burundi’s secret service, and so got up to all sorts of colorful and unsavory acts before his conversion.

I first met him about eight years ago when he’d been miraculously granted leave from prison. He was very sick, and needed medical treatment, but the head of the prison had refused him permission, saying: “You’ll only ever be allowed out of here over my dead body.” Under the influence of a massive fever, Peter had replied: “You will watch God take me out of here under your very nose!” He returned to his cell, and an overnight prayer meeting was convened. Nobody was allowed to leave before the Lord had answered their petition. They prayed through the night, and after 9am, one of the group said: “I believe the Lord’s just told me that you’ll be released by 4pm.” They packed his bags in faith, and at 3:45pm a prison officer opened his cell, looked at his packed bags, and said: “Who told you that you are to be released? Give me your telephone!” Peter replied: “I have no phone. It was God who told us!” And he walked out of prison past the head honcho who had said “over my dead body”.

Peter was very sick, and I used to visit him in hospital. He had an armed guard to make sure he didn’t try to escape, but that wasn’t needed. Peter exuded peaceful joy amidst his personal suffering, and drew other sick patients to the Lord. He grew thinner and thinner, and I flew back in the spring of 2003 to prepare to get married to Lizzie, not knowing whether I’d ever see him again.

However, a year later, when we returned, a new fatter Peter greeted us. During my absence, two men had come to him and told him: “We know that you have AIDS, but we believe God is going to heal you for a purpose.” And here he was, living out that healing. His weight had almost doubled. But he was still separated from Sarah and the kids because of now being back in prison. His crime? He had allowed a ‘friend’ to use his bank account to transfer some funds, and it transpired the money in question was stolen. It showed up on many accounts including Peter’s and his ‘friend’ fled the country. Peter was immediately put in prison and would not be released until that money was returned or the guilty man gave himself up – neither eventuality very likely. But the believers in prison set aside four days to pray and fast on the issue, pleading with the Lord to convict the thief to give himself up. On the fourth day of their fast, he was in neighboring Congo about to commit suicide when the Lord spoke to him and said: “Go back and give yourself up because many people’s lives are ruined because of your behavior.”

And so he arrived and admitted his guilt to the police. Issues of corruption delayed Peter’s release another two years, even though it was clear he was innocent. He developed rare incurable cancer in his throat. I have a photo of him with huge swollen jowls. A mutual friend sponsored him to go and get treated abroad at significant expense. He finished a course of drugs and then just surrendered the issue to the Lord.

When Sarah subsequently contracted cancer herself and they traveled repeatedly to the cancer specialist hospital in Uganda, the specialists refused to accept that Peter had had the cancer he described. Even when he produced the paperwork they said there had to be a mistake. It simply wasn’t possible. The rollercoaster story has more in it, but I’ll stop there. That’s why we thought Sarah wouldn’t die. God has intervened repeatedly and undeniably in Peter’s life. They had been forced to spend extended time apart, and now at last they were back together. Surely the Lord would do for her as He had done for Peter…? And yet slowly, inexorably, with the occasional upturn, the cancer took her.

Faith means embracing question marks for much of the time. There aren’t always tidy answers to our big questions. Yet Sarah was so grace-filled and dignified in her fight, working until just recently as the family needed the money to survive. Peter’s job is to help rehabilitate former child-soldiers and prostitutes and equip them to choose better lives. Despite incredible odds heaped against him, Peter managed to earn distinction in the first two years of university where he is doing a 4-year degree at evening classes. He earns about $100/month. Now he will somehow have to care for his six children without his life-mate. Aaarrgh! So Sarah is dead. It’s terribly sad. There are lots of tears being shed right now.

But today as I think about her, death really is more sweet/bitter than bitter/sweet for followers of Jesus Christ, the Resurrection and the Life. For the first time in years, she is free from pain. For her loved ones, the bitter grief is slightly mitigated by the fact that “we do not mourn as those without hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” (1Thes.4v13-14)

As I say so often, life is a gift. Live it fully! Health is a gift. Appreciate it! Loved ones are gifts. Cherish them! We have so many gifts… So let’s enjoy them, maximize them and share them. Do pray for Peter as he faces up to the latest massive challenge in his ongoing pilgrimage. And if anyone wants to help him and the kids, do get back to me.

God bless you, Simon Guillebaud

Great Lakes Outreach

www.greatlakesoutreach.org

www.more-than-conquerors.com

PS Burundi elections yesterday went peacefully, please pray on…